"We are all just a little color tint away from reinventing ourselves"So, I just finished watching this great movie called How Do You Know?. I expected the usual light love story, but I found this to be extremely compelling.
I wasn’t setting out to review this movie, though it has pretty much turned into that. I just wanted to point out a few really good things from it that just launched it to near the top of my favorite movies. I recommend actually watching the movie, so I am going to try not to tell you the majority of it.
There are three main characters - a professional softball player named Lisa (played by Reese Witherspoon), a businessman named George (played by Paul Rudd), and a professional baseball player named Mattie (played by Owen Wilson). George’s father is played by Jack Nicholsen.
Lisa gets cut from her softball team and finds herself suddenly re-evaluating her life. She begins dating Mattie. Mattie is an interesting character. He is completely honest and sincere, but also quite a bit shallow and clueless. It’s impossible, though, not to find him charming in his own way. He refuses to grow up. Lisa decides to accept him for who he is instead of expecting more from him, since she feels he’s probably a very good match for what she needs right at that moment of her life. She tells him she had other expectations, but that was her own fault and apologizes to him for getting angry at first. Mattie really finds her unusual for this and begins to really like her.
George calls Lisa because a mutual friend had given him her number. Since then, his relationship with another woman became more than casual and he felt it would be rude to leave her expecting a call. George then suddenly finds himself in the middle of a Federal Investigation for Securities Fraud of which he is genuinely innocent. He is suddenly unemployed and estranged from everyone at the business, including his own father. When George tells his girlfriend, she tells him they are not good matches for each other during this part of his life but that she’ll be there for him at the end, effectively breaking up with him. (I have to say I liked that scene because what could have been a played-out scenario really managed to feel genuine, and that can be said for the majority of the movie.)
George gets understandably drunk, and then calls Lisa and sets up a dinner date with her. The date goes rather strangely; Lisa tells him they should just not give a voice to the problems they are having right at that moment and change their expectations to allow themselves a completely quiet meal. They eat in a silence somewhere between awkward and companionable.
Lisa goes to see a therapist, but decides to leave as soon as she gets there. Before she leaves, though, she asks the therapist if he has any general advice that can help anyone. He observes what a good question it is and says he has: “Figure out what you want. And then learn to ask for it.”
George finds Lisa extremely interesting and is disappointed to find that she is dating someone else, but still decides he wants to get to know her. They end up becoming friends. Mattie gets jealous, but is genuinely trying to navigate a real romance with Lisa, and keeps asking her what he should be doing. Where Mattie gives Lisa silence and pep talks when she asks for it, George listens to what she has to say and tries to get to know her.
One of the most interesting parts of the movie comes near the end, when George gives Lisa a birthday gift of a can of Play-Doh. I have to admit that this was the part of the movie that took it from good to great for me. George assures her that the Play-Doh is only the first part of the gift. The story of it is the second part.
He explains that Play-Doh was originally invented as a cleaner for wallpaper, back when people used coal. With the use of oil and gas heating, it became obsolete. The inventor’s sister told him that her kids preferred playing with the cleaning goop instead of hard clay, and she suggested he add color to it and market it to kids. George said he kept that can around to remind himself that we are all one color tint away from reinventing ourselves.
And that, dear friends, is when I wanted to go out and buy myself a can of Play-Doh to remind myself of the same thing.
I won’t tell you how the movie ends, but I seriously suggest seeing it. It’s about a lot more than boy-meets-girl, none of the characters are caricatures, and you can see why Lisa likes both men. Even the peripheral characters are interesting – there’s a baby born and some great advice given.
For me, I’m taking a lot more away from this movie than just a hope of finding true love. All three of the main characters, really, are on journeys of self-discovery. Mattie is navigating the new idea of falling in love and being committed to a woman (he even proposes; well, he proposes to propose, sort of). George has to reevaluate his entire relationship with his father and his own assertiveness, as well as what he is willing to do for himself and others. Lisa has to decide what she really wants and find the belief in herself she needs.
I think this may have been marketed wrong when it first came out, because a light romantic comedy it is not. What it is, though, is a very good, thought-provoking movie.
Remember, we're all just a little color tint away from reinventing ourselves...
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