...and rest myself again in the miracles of God's creation

I went into the woods to find myself,

To find the essential nature in myself
which I had left by the wayside.
I went into the woods to restore my soul,
to find my peace again,
and rest myself in the miracles of God’s creation
which we have taken for granted,
To make myself again
That which I once was.
--Ilene D.O. Swartz

I’m heading to the woods this week. Well, the shore. Well, the woods by the shore. I’m going camping - something I haven’t done in a number of years. I’m probably expecting too much of the experience. I hope it will help me write. I hope it will help me feel healthy again. It may be an ordeal. I haven’t gone since I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. But I’m going out there and I’m going to try it. And I hope to bring back some stories…

Brave New Worlds, Part 2: The Characters of Stargate Atlantis

"Oh brave new world. That has such people in it" Shakespeare's The Tempest

Dr. Elizabeth Weir: Hey, what are you guys doing?
Major John Sheppard: I'm teaching Teyla how football is the cornerstone of Western civilization.
Weir: And you didn't invite me?
Sheppard: Oh, you like football?
Weir: No, not really.
Sheppard: Oh, come on, it's real, it's unpredictable, it's full of passion... and beer... hot dogs.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Cheerleaders.
Weir: I just can't understand you're allowed one personal item, and you chose this.
Sheppard: It's a metaphor. Don't you see? This entire expedition is the biggest Hail Mary in human history.

So, after having no hope at all of retrieving the utterly brilliant thoughts that emanated from my sleep-deprived brain (because, as any college student will tell you, sometimes that’s “the best stuff”) and then dissolved into the ether, I felt it was still necessary to give you at least some semblance of them. If I’m honest, I must admit that they probably were not as brilliant as they appeared to be at the time, and, thus, God decided the world was not in need of them, and chucked them for me. Thank you, God. As ever, you probably saved me embarrassment!

Anyway, mostly it was a discussion of the brilliant characters on Stargate Atlantis. The writers on that show truly did have a way of engaging the viewer and making us love characters which we probably wouldn’t have loved otherwise. Part of the way they did this was with some brilliant dialogue between characters.

Putting Geek-speak into their mouths and then forcing them to explain it to others is a pretty classic technique that truly works. Doctor Who has been doing it since the mid-1960s, after all. And, honestly, it can pretty much be traced back in time as far back as you can go, because any young hero being initiated into a new world (think Luke Skywalker for a modern example) acts as the reader/viewer’s eyes. They don’t even have to be particularly young these days, just new. This happens in the Doctor Who spin-off Torchwood when Gwen Cooper stumbles upon Torchwood and Captain Jack Harkness explains it to her. These heroes/heroines do tend toward young, of course; the supposition, I think, being that older and wiser characters don’t really need the explanations. Also, as these are really stand-ins for our own journeys in life (which is why we get so connected to them on an emotional level), the stage in our life where we would most identify with this kind of hero is going to be when we are young(ish) rather than older and more experienced. Joseph Campbell, my own mythology white knight, really explains this well in his theory of the Hero’s Journey. Here’s one site that shows the steps of that journey:

http://www.mcli.dist.maricopa.edu/smc/journey/ref/summary.html

I love Stargate Atlantis. I’ve really become a fan. After all, you’ve got the whole idea of an ancient society that had superior technology (bringing in this whole majestic ancient past angle), you’ve got a group of scientists and explorers, “new” worlds, a female expedition lead (kudos for that, right out of the gate), people from all over the planet with unique and interesting and sometimes practically incompatible personalities (and accents), danger from actual aliens, and dangers from unknowns in the Atlantis City itself. Oh, and this really cool spiritual aspect because the ancients were trying to “ascend” as well. Soooo, let’s see, that’s adventure, archeology, science, space travel, fantasy, humour, diplomacy, danger, Geek Speak, and every so often just a hint of romance (because they are cut off from Earth a lot of the time so who else are they interacting with!?)…oh, yeah, and there’s politics and the army, too.

-----
These characters are ones you can appreciate and root for, but the characters don’t drive all the stories. There’s action and peril and monsters coming out of the woodwork. And, to top it all off, there are some truly great lines.
--

Sheppard: How's it coming, Rodney?
McKay: Slower than I expected, but faster than humanly possible.

"I only know one thing for sure and that is that flying darkness that eats energy can only be very, very bad." McKay

Weir: Who would have thought you'd believe in ghosts?
McKay: I never used to. Until I learned about things called Wraiths that can suck the life out of you with their hands. What the hell is that?

(After Dr. Beckett didn’t want to go through the Stargate)
Sheppard: He's worse than Dr. McCoy.
Teyla: Who?
Sheppard: The TV character that Beckett plays in real life...

Sheppard: Just think of it as a walk on the beach…a beach that’s about to EXPLODE…

Sheppard: You think it's worth checking out?
McKay: Any significant energy emission generally indicates technological civilization.
Sheppard: So... you think it's worth checking out?
Dr. Rodney McKay: [sarcastically] I'm sorry. Yes. Energy field good.

[Dr. McKay is wearing an Ancient personal force field generator]
Dr. Weir: I'm still trying to understand how you thought it was a good idea to test this device by having someone throw you off a balcony.
McKay: Oh, believe me, that's not the first thing we tried.
Sheppard: [Smug] I shot him. (gets a look from Weir) In the leg!
McKay: I'm invulnerable!
Weir: Aren't you the one who's always spouting off about how proper and careful scientific procedure must be adhered to?
McKay: [Smug] In-vul-nerable!

Torrell: Well, I could kill you. But you strike me as the type of man who, despite being weak and cowardly on the outside, harbours a strength of character he doesn't even know he has.McKay: I'm sorry - was there a compliment in there?  

Weir: Rodney - you can take the rest of the day off.
McKay: [lies down onto the floor on his back with his eyes closed and his hands folded on his chest] Oh. I am gonna curl up in bed with the largest sandwich I can find.

McKay: Well, let me see - we've got slow death, quick death, painful death, cold, lonely death…

Beckett: We believe ATA or Ancient Technology Activation is caused by a single gene that's always on instructing various cells in the body to produce a series of proteins and enzymes that interact with the skin, the nervous system and the brain. In this case we're using a mouse retrovirus to deliver the missing gene to your cells.
McKay: A mouse retrovirus?
Beckett: It's been deactivated.
McKay: Well, are there any side effects?
Beckett: Dry mouth, headache, the irresistible urge to run in a small wheel...

Beckett: ...well if I've learned one thing, Mum, it's that we Earthlings are very...
Lt. Ford: Doc! You can't say that!
Beckett: What?
Ford: Earthlings. It's compromising security!
Beckett: She knows I'm from Earth, son! It's not a bloody secret!

McKay: I'm not sure I can fix this.
Dr. Peter Grodin: You can fix anything.
McKay: Who told you that?
Grodin: You did. On several occasions.

Beckett: You have a date, Rodney? With a woman?
McKay: It is simply two adults sharing some friendly... Yes, with a woman!

Weir: You think once the initial shock is over, we'll have the old Rodney back?
Beckett: I'm afraid so.

McKay: Did I mention that I know almost everything about almost everything?

Discipline

"Discipline is Remembering What You Want"  David Campbell

So this is what came up this morning when I hit my “Today’s Bible Verse” application:

“Proverbs 10:17 (NIV). He who heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads others astray....... Thoughts on This Verse... Discipline is not only important to us, but also to those who are influenced by our actions. So often we undervalue the impact of our personal decisions on others. But God has placed each of us in a circle of influence to be a blessing and a redemptive influence for those around us. To choose what is foolish, to ignore godly correction, not only jeopardizes our own future, but also the future of others.”

Discipline? Ah, Discipline. At times, I have felt this is the very bane of my existence. Not because I undervalue how my personal choices influence others, but because I struggle so hard with the concept and execution of it. Yes, struggle. Truly struggle. I frequently get so discouraged because I sometimes cannot seem to maintain the most basic of self-discipline. My father found this the most exasperating aspect of my character. Time after time during my formative years, he would try to drill the concept (and, more importantly, the execution of it) into my seemingly boulder-hard skull.

It wasn’t because I didn’t think it was important, or because I was actually being contrary. I wasn’t rebelling. I wasn’t being stubborn. And it wasn’t until I was in college that I finally got an inkling as to what at least PART of the problem was. Turns out I have a condition called Attention Deficit Disorder. Good old ADD. Nobody spotted it in me, because no one was looking for it. They chalked up my behavior to being strong-willed, stubborn, high-strung, and lazy, or whatever other adjective seemed appropriate at any given time. I’m apparently in the minority – someone with ADD who “passed” because she does well on tests and leaned toward the intellectual. (This, by the way, is INCREDIBLY unfair. Most ADD people whom I have had the good fortune to know have been creative, intelligent, and even startlingly insightful! )

Now, to be fair, most people will say they have trouble with self-discipline. But, like ADD symptom themselves, it’s a matter of degrees. When I speak of not having self-discipline, I mean it in a profound, life-wrecking kind of way. I mean dis-regulation of bed times, wake times, bill-paying, and organization of just about everything in my life – household chores, hygiene, friendships, filling my pill case, BLOGS, meal times, spiritual worship, and even getting the mail. I’ve managed to learned organization skills that I practice for years, but one bad day forces me to start over completely. Implosion of my routines IS my routine.

Soooo, when I read something like this, it actually tends to discourage me. I think “Why would God want me when I fail God so completely on such a regular basis?” It’s an easy trap in which to fall. But I think it’s just that – a trap. I think it’s true that God wants us to strive for discipline, for order. As my father would say, for ritual. Ritual and routine are incredibly important to human beings. They give us comfort, and they help us to stay focused. Still, God made each of us unique. We are not all called to be naturally focused and comfortable. We are not all called to be calm. Some of us struggle with it for a reason. I’ll let you know if and when I figure out what mine is. Right now I’m living in faith and striving for balance.

“There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.” Edith Wharton

“Endurance is one of the most difficult disciplines, but it is to the one who endures that the final victory comes.” Buddha

How Do You Know the story of Play-Doh?

"We are all just a little color tint away from reinventing ourselves"

So, I just finished watching this great movie called How Do You Know?. I expected the usual light love story, but I found this to be extremely compelling.


I wasn’t setting out to review this movie, though it has pretty much turned into that. I just wanted to point out a few really good things from it that just launched it to near the top of my favorite movies. I recommend actually watching the movie, so I am going to try not to tell you the majority of it.

There are three main characters - a professional softball player named Lisa (played by Reese Witherspoon), a businessman named George (played by Paul Rudd), and a professional baseball player named Mattie (played by Owen Wilson). George’s father is played by Jack Nicholsen.

Lisa gets cut from her softball team and finds herself suddenly re-evaluating her life. She begins dating Mattie. Mattie is an interesting character. He is completely honest and sincere, but also quite a bit shallow and clueless. It’s impossible, though, not to find him charming in his own way. He refuses to grow up. Lisa decides to accept him for who he is instead of expecting more from him, since she feels he’s probably a very good match for what she needs right at that moment of her life. She tells him she had other expectations, but that was her own fault and apologizes to him for getting angry at first. Mattie really finds her unusual for this and begins to really like her.

George calls Lisa because a mutual friend had given him her number. Since then, his relationship with another woman became more than casual and he felt it would be rude to leave her expecting a call. George then suddenly finds himself in the middle of a Federal Investigation for Securities Fraud of which he is genuinely innocent. He is suddenly unemployed and estranged from everyone at the business, including his own father. When George tells his girlfriend, she tells him they are not good matches for each other during this part of his life but that she’ll be there for him at the end, effectively breaking up with him. (I have to say I liked that scene because what could have been a played-out scenario really managed to feel genuine, and that can be said for the majority of the movie.)

George gets understandably drunk, and then calls Lisa and sets up a dinner date with her. The date goes rather strangely; Lisa tells him they should just not give a voice to the problems they are having right at that moment and change their expectations to allow themselves a completely quiet meal.  They eat in a silence somewhere between awkward and companionable.

Lisa goes to see a therapist, but decides to leave as soon as she gets there. Before she leaves, though, she asks the therapist if he has any general advice that can help anyone. He observes what a good question it is and says he has: “Figure out what you want. And then learn to ask for it.”

George finds Lisa extremely interesting and is disappointed to find that she is dating someone else, but still decides he wants to get to know her. They end up becoming friends. Mattie gets jealous, but is genuinely trying to navigate a real romance with Lisa, and keeps asking her what he should be doing. Where Mattie gives Lisa silence and pep talks when she asks for it, George listens to what she has to say and tries to get to know her.

One of the most interesting parts of the movie comes near the end, when George gives Lisa a birthday gift of a can of Play-Doh. I have to admit that this was the part of the movie that took it from good to great for me. George assures her that the Play-Doh is only the first part of the gift. The story of it is the second part.

He explains that Play-Doh was originally invented as a cleaner for wallpaper, back when people used coal. With the use of oil and gas heating, it became obsolete. The inventor’s sister told him that her kids preferred playing with the cleaning goop instead of hard clay, and she suggested he add color to it and market it to kids. George said he kept that can around to remind himself that we are all one color tint away from reinventing ourselves.

And that, dear friends, is when I wanted to go out and buy myself a can of Play-Doh to remind myself of the same thing.

I won’t tell you how the movie ends, but I seriously suggest seeing it. It’s about a lot more than boy-meets-girl, none of the characters are caricatures, and you can see why Lisa likes both men. Even the peripheral characters are interesting – there’s a baby born and some great advice given.

For me, I’m taking a lot more away from this movie than just a hope of finding true love. All three of the main characters, really, are on journeys of self-discovery. Mattie is navigating the new idea of falling in love and being committed to a woman (he even proposes; well, he proposes to propose, sort of). George has to reevaluate his entire relationship with his father and his own assertiveness, as well as what he is willing to do for himself and others. Lisa has to decide what she really wants and find the belief in herself she needs.

I think this may have been marketed wrong when it first came out, because a light romantic comedy it is not. What it is, though, is a very good, thought-provoking movie.

Remember, we're all just a little color tint away from reinventing ourselves...

Brave new worlds Part 1

"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over...it became a butterfly"

One of my favorite ways to destress is to read, watch television shows, or watch movies about other worlds, either in the realm of fantasy or science fiction. What can I say - I am a complete geek.  :) When the world around me seems to make no global sense, I like to change worlds for awhile and immerse myself in one that I am not supposed to really recognize.  In other words, I change the expectations.  While world-jumping may not seem like a big deal, I wonder sometimes if it is always healthy. After all, isn't that what the patients in the mental wards do?  They are often depicted as being immersed in their own worlds, outside this reality.  And maybe that's what scares me.  That tomorrow I won't wake up (as I would like) in the world the way it used to be to find the things in my life that are so painful have really been a dream. Instead, I will wake up to find myself strapped to a white bed surrounded by white walls and men and women in white coats staring down at me asking me if I can hear them. 

Or maybe I've just watched too many movies and television shows...

The thing is world-building is a time-honored tradition amongst great fantasy and science fiction writers. Such writers are reknowned for it - take J.R.R. Tolkein, J.K. Rowling, Gene Roddenberry, Cassandra Clare, Stephenie Meyer, Diane Duane, etc etc...I could so truly keep going.  This is my favorite sub-genre, crossing both those lands of fantasy and science fiction that are so often (and wrongly in my humble, meaningless opinion) separated.  I'm a Doctor Who fan myself, which means I honor both genres and all the cross-overs in between which touch on alternative history (like those wonderful ideas of "If the South had Won the Civil War" ilk).  I find comforting the very idea that, somewhere out there, the things that have happened in my life have never happened and some alternative me lived out an alternative life withouth having to go through the pains I experienced.  When I was 17 and my mother died, I remember believing so strongly that it wasn't how it was scripted to go down.  And the books I was feeding into my brain throughout my adolescence told me that maybe somewhere out there it hadn't gone down that way.  Let the mental health professionals decide if that is or isn't healthy.  As far as coping mechanisms go, I know it wasn't very effective, but it did keep me from completely slipping over the edge. 

Books have been my "other worlds" since I was old enough to realize that my life was not the same as what I was reading. The first book that I remember obsessing about was some story about a pet monster that the kid in the story dressed up in a diaper and put in his crib.  I LOVED that book, but to this day what I just described is about all I remember, aside from a sort of sketchy picture and the strange feeling I got thinking about it. I just remember going somewhere else in my mind when I read it.  I felt "transported" and disoriented coming back to my own world. 

Fast forward 30-odd years and is it any wonder my favorite stories now frequently involve physical transportation to other galaxies?  What I love about today's science fiction/fantasy stories are that they so often delve deeper into the character of the people involved in these situations, too.  The stories, like real life, are often character-driven as well as action-oriented.  How else are you going to suspend disbelief that magic is a part of daily life, except by believing that the characters have never had any doubt that it was?  What makes the evil wizard evil? After all, even in worlds of magic (or technology so advanced as to seem like magic), people do not exist in a vacuum. 

My newest obsession is a show that was, unfortunately, already off the air when I discovered it. Stargate Atlantis, an offshoot of the show Stargate SG-1, which was, in turn, an offshoot of one of my ALL-TIME FAVORITE movies - Stargate.  One thing I have to pick at is the whole "everyone speaks English" thing.  This is actually a pet peeve of mine overall. Not that I don't appreciate not having to read subtitles, but it's not very realistic to my mind. In the original movie, they couldn't understand each other at first. I think that was a good touch.  And it proved one sociological point that I found out when I was young and interacted with others from non-English speaking cultures.  You don't have to speak the same language to communicate and understand one another on a basic level.  In the end, language evolved to communicate complicated ideas, but if we set it aside, sometimes we can communicate even better our basic similarities.

I do have to say that I LOVE the characters on Stargate Atlantis. They are complicated from the get-go and they are heroic and loyal.  And they seem to all speak Geek beautifully.

I have been noticing (and I'm up to almost the end of season 3 now) very frequent obvious references to Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, etc.  And there are some central characters who are non-terrestrial, so explanations make it even funnier.  The chief medical officer got referred to as "as bad as McCoy" in his response to going through the stargate (referencing Dr. Leonard McCoy's dislike of transporters), which necessitated the explanation that it was "a television character that Dr. Beckett plays in real life". 

So, folks, this is where the blog chose to cut off my first draft. I had many brilliant thoughts here on character and relationships and how they related to real life, including many entertaining anecdotes describing the various characters of Stargate Atlantis. Amongst them, my favorite, unexpectedly, Dr. McKay. 
 Since I can't retreive that text, I have to start from scratch.  Now I have go reformulate that hour's plus worth of work. I'll try to post the rest as soon as possible, but it will have to wait until after I have some sleep.