In high school, my English teacher had a several quotes upon the walls of his classroom. One of them was a quote by Carl Sandburg that said "A writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than other people."
On the face of it, that seems to fly in the face of logical observation. After all, writers seek out a career doing this very thing, don't they? And when you talk to non-writers, they say they don't like writing or that they can't write. I have been thinking about this quote since that first 9th grade English class. I wrote it down. I pondered it. One might even say I meditated on it. Then I went on and studied to be a writer. And I still wasn't sure I knew what the quote meant.
Something like 20 years later, I am still pondering it, but I do think I agree with it now. To be a writer means so much more than just writing things down. It means creating. It means birthing new ideas. It means struggling to make the philosophies of your mind make sense to someone who has not spent time considering them.
As I studied Journalism,I remember hearing about two men who just had books published. One was a career writer - a "real" writer, if you will. Someone who did it for a living. The other was a novice who was an expert in some field or another and had just written his first book. They sat down for an interview (for some reason at the same time), and the interviewer asked them about their "process" for writing. The novice smiled and nodded and enthusiastically told the interviewer that he would just feel like writing, sit down at his typewriter and pound out a few pages until he felt like stopping. The career writer shook his head and explained that he wished he could do it that way, but because this was a job for him it went more like this: Every day, no matter what he felt, he would sit down at his word processor and write 1000 words. He did this everyday. And some days the words would come. And some days they wouldn't. But he did it everyday nonetheless. And some days he would feel he almost hated writing. And some days he would love what he was doing. Either way, he would write.
And when I heard that story, I realized that the reason Sandburg was right was because this job takes discipline. It isn't as romantic as it seems. Sometimes it is so hard to be a writer, too, because you have an idea that just won't come out. And when it does, you will always face censure and ridicule from someone - you will never be able to please everyone.
Most writers do not strike it rich with their writing. They are not millionaires. Most writers are lucky to make a decent wage and are not famous.
But we don't do it for the money. Admittedly, there may be a small desire for fame. After all, if you write a book, that is something that can stick around a long time. Look at the author of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo books. They weren't even published in English until after his death. There is a certain immortality to being a writer. The prospect that your work (and life) might be studied long after you are gone can be appealing. But it's like being a painter whose work is worth more after your death. Your life isn't what is important to the world.
We get scared to death about whether or not we are "real" writers because this work is not something we've slapped together easily. It takes blood, sweat, and, often, literal tears to get this work out there. And when it's good, they want more IMMEDIATELY (ask any bibliophile to confirm that this is true). The truth is...to be a real writer, you have to feel it. It's hard to explain to the uniniated because it isn't something tangible or easily identifiable. It's like being in love. If you are, you know it. But you aren't sure enough of yourself to immediately admit it. It's like twitchy fingers over a keyboard - knowing you want to write, but not knowing WHAT to write. And then wondering if your choice was correct once you do write something.
So..."if you've asked yourself, am I really a writer?" Then, YES...you are. And YES, I am!
