Finding Self

"We don't find ourselves. We create ourselves." - unknown

This is one of those quotes that I have to agree with, but that challenges me at a really fundamental level. It's true, yet not at the same time. Because there are parts of ourselves that we have to discover. Especially if you are like me and feel you have lost parts.

What does this mean? That's what I'm asking myself right now. As a writer, it has something to do with finding a voice. That authentic voice you hear writers talk about in the abstract. It's almost mythical. But all it really means is everything.

Yes, I realize that's more abstraction. Yes, I realize it makes little or no sense to someone who is not also looking for their voice, or has not found it yet. It means to write what is true to yourself, true to your character. I cannot actually write in a voice that is not my own if I am being true to what I am saying. To write in someone else's voice is to copy someone like Ernest Hemmingway or Anne Rice by trying to write the same way they do.

But this quote isn't only about finding a literary voice. It is also about self-direction. It's about waiting around for your prince (or princess) charming instead of getting up and going on the quest yourself. It's about determining what you want out of life and choosing to become it.

It is also false because it implies that we have all the power over the world we create. Sometimes we do not. Sometimes you stumble over yourself while trying to create yourself the way you want to be. Sometimes that is how discovery happens - by accident. Another famous quote says

"Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans." 

But I think the secret is that truth lies somewhere between these two. Life is not going to happen if you are sitting around on your tuckus waiting to look like your couch. Life isn't going to happen if all you do is watch or read other people's stories all day. You have to make it happen. You just have to be prepared for things to not go as you planned them to go.

"Man plans and God laughs"