A Poem for My Brothers - Strange Trinity

A Poem for My Brothers -Strange Trinity

At 2 a.m., or 4,
when I am awake and dreaming of you

Have you taken me a picture of where you have been?
Have you written down,
in poetic terms,
the life you have lived?

Will I lose you all eventually-
my trinity turned duo turned four quartets?

scattered like wedding day rice
our new beginnings
our mutual ends
perfect love
platonic and endless

And where will God place you tomorrow?
My sorrow and longing
to see your face amazes me.

It has been long away
from the master of my poetic start.
I, apprentice to the art of life and and art.
You, teachers, with arrogance and truth,
always believing you knew so much,
that we believed it, too.

And I did.

Your magic and art will always be
in your older-brother charm, wit,
Fred Astaire grace,
small g godliness
and calm assurance
that life is to be tasted.

Experience, said the giant man
my blue-eyed Polish Switzerland
who love to laugh and taste of life
and see life through the lens
of art and light
True man.

what I owe you can never be repaid,
never stated, even,
it is too much
Italian Controversy led us everywhere,
laughing, robust, at life,
Politics
and War
all things Mars, it seemed,
in this realm of men.

Would I ever truly understand life
without you?
Could I ever see this world
through more dynamic eyes than yours?
Could I have seen my own delicacy
or realized to what depths the human soul goes?

Someday there will be women
woman enough
to handle you

And will she have a sister
woman enough to handle Chaos?
The fact is in doubt

Friend, you are the life that breathes into fire.
Whirlwind, uncontrolled
Danger in a Blues Brothers suit.
Brother, hot life breathing
even as you seem to speak
of death and darkness
Untameable
And so I will simply pray
you don't shoot anyone
unless they need to be shot
and that your plot goes unused
for a good
long
time.

Brethren!
As such you are,
every one of you inspires me!

I leave pedestals behind
and keep instead simply friendship's warm glow
to reflect
      the true touch of each on this life.
Each my child,
to motherly instinct
Each my enemy,
to feminist anger.
Each my love,
to wild instinct and matronly desire.
Each my best friend,
to heart, in truth, incessant.
And all of my life
I will hold you so,
No matter where we are.
No matter distance or time away
Always,
Forever,
I love you.

Ilene Danielle Oldham

Those Little Things

A recent post on Facebook started me thinking.

When my mom died when I was a teenager, I went through a really bad spot in my life. At 17, I didn't have the skills to ask for help or for comfort, or to really appreciate it when offered. One of our family friends was a secretary at the high school. Whenever I would come into the office, she would give me a hug. I didn't know how to react at the time, but when I looked back on it, it meant so much to me. Recently, I was finally able to thank her for that, only to find she didn't really even remember it. Point - sometimes the small things you do for people out of the goodness of just who you are can have a bigger impact on them then you ever, ever know. I'd say - go with those benevolent impulses!

Around the same time, I ended up being a Counselor at Camp Penn church camp.  Being a person with ADD and an inquistive mind, I have become really good at making plans, starting them, and then faltering as I try to keep the momentum going.  I am a deeply spiritual person as well, and I have made valiant efforts to read through the Bible (which I have managed to do, just not all at once) and to consistently read a daily devotional, as well as attempts at daily journalling, sometimes religiously-based. In previous years, I got to be what was called a Junior Counselor and, in that role, I was going through a phase where I was reading a college-geared devotional from Radio Bible Class, similiar to the Upper Room, called Campus Journal. For the duration of my week as a Junior Counselor, I was reading it regularly every morning.  I made friends with a younger girl who held the unofficial title of "Pre-camper Keeper." The job essentially consisted of wrangling the children of the counselors who were too young for this particular camp.  When I came back the following year in the role of full-fledged counselor, she had risen to my old rank of Junior Counselor. By this point, I was still trying to read the devotional, but I was pretty much failing to do so. One day, I happened to notice her reading her own copy. She told me she'd been reading it since I had introduced her to it the previous year. I hadn't even remembered telling her about it!

It's something I have thought about occasionally over the years. How many ways to do we really influence the world around us, without even knowing it? How many times do we interact with people, make offhand comments we don't even remember? There's a lot of news out there lately about bullying and how teenagers thoughtless comments have effected someone who is particularly sensitive about a topic. I don't believe for a minute that kids are more cruel than they have ever been. I know that high school has always been difficult. It's not a new concept that we don't fully realize our effect on the world around us. So what kind of solution can there be? The only answer I can see is that we strive, every day, to make sure we are sending positive waves of energy out into the world. Kindness. Generosity. Positive Examples. Encouraging Messages. The little thngs that can be the seeds for big things to grow!

As my sister Noelle's favorite quote goes - "The mightiest oak was once a tiny acorn."